Day 91
underwater
I have always been fascinated by the fact that there is an entire world of creatures and space underwater on this planet. Space we have not explored or experienced; where life exists with a purpose we can only imagine. There are so few spaces like that left, at least that is what it feels like.
The ocean terrifies me in a certain way, because it is deep, it harbors the unknown, it has its own rhythm that I do not understand.
At the same time, I had the privilege of experiencing snorkeling in a beautiful tropical place, twice in the last five years. I was enchanted. I could not stop swimming. I felt like a child for the first time that I can remember. The ocean was thin and clear, carried me gently, wooed me. I fell deeply in love with her.
Sometimes I wonder if exploring my inner thoughts, feelings, desires and fears carries the same element of terror that I feel at the thought of being dropped into the deep ocean. I am not sure I know where to enter the sea of me without the fear of being swept out into darkness. I do not trust that there are thin places full of color and joy.
What a wonder that engaging the depths of myself draws the same quick breath of fear that stepping in the ocean once did.
