Day 97
almost
Day 97 is almost day 100. Almost, but not quite.
I heard myself say, out loud, today that “at least I know now that I can produce something, every day.” And this is true. I have produced something nearly everyday since April 7. In a sense I am not surprised, I am pretty good and stepping up to a challenge. At the same time, I am amazed at myself. The writing has been relatively easy, actually, but what is amazing is that I was able to open up and be vulnerable so many days out of the last 97. This is not typical of me.
And now, I am almost done meeting this challenge. A new thing is cracking open in me, a new fear, that I will stop writing, being vulnerable; that I will stop seeing myself in these words, and knowing those things that I cannot know until I write them down.
So many times I have almost rewritten, almost deleted, almost hidden from you, from me. I don’t want to hide though, not really. Like all of you, I want to be seen, known, discovered and cherished.
Once again, my eyes are drawn to the beauty beyond my window panes. The world, laid bare, its beauty so ready to be seen, known and cherished. Ah, if only I could abandon this fear forever, open my chest as this valley has opened the meadow to the red tail hawks and my hungry eyes.
